Yeesh. This started out as just recording interesting memories. There's some stuff in here that I'm obviously not real proud of. Maybe you can avoid some stupid things I've done!
This page will be growing over time, but it's not under construction any more than you are. It's just growing. Look it up in a dictionary.
So fun factor enters in, but realize that I can have fun with the most boring vehicle known to humankind (the Dodge Aries?), so long as the passengers can't reach my throat or the car's controls.
One of my best friends in high school, Martin O'Rourke, hit the hemi on the head with his observation,
"I've finally figured out what's wrong with your driving. You drive everything like it's a motorcycle."Well, yeah, but what's wrong with my driving?
(My actual reply was "So?", followed by revving the Impala's engine and dropping it into Drive, squealing up to the downtown Augusta speed limit of 30, which I maintained. Martin tried to crawl under the floor mat, because one of Augusta's finest had just pulled alongside us. He ignored me, much to our mutual relief.)
Lightweight, quick, responsive, the Miata has few faults. It's small; at 5'11" I'm a bit cramped, but less so than on a sport bike, and more comfy over long distances. It has almost no trunk space. But otherwise, about all I could wish for are the optional hard top (didn't come with it), a bit more power (esp. with the A/C on), and a bit of lumbar support. That said, it's still incredibly fun to drive. Sometimes I jump on the highway or a back road late at night and just drive for a couple of hours. Top down, of course; the top stays down when I'm in the car unless it's around freezing (even then, maybe), raining harder than a drizzle, or my wife or someone is in the car who needs to arrive somewhere with their hair in good shape. I just run the heater or AC when the temp gets too extreme, with the top down anyway. Then again, I often just left the windows down and moon roof open on previous cars!
A 130K+ miles, it's needing some work; it's using a quart of oil every 3K miles and the clutch throwout bearing is starting to growl. The camshaft sensor had to be replaced about 1,000 miles ago.
For a while at JHK I was working a later shift (we were time-sharing the limited terminal ports on a ModComp), so most days I left 2-3 hours before I needed to be at work (about 3 or 4) and took the looooonnng way in. One day right after I got the 'Ceptor, Mike Williams (on his brand new Honda Magna 1100) and I were ripping up some twisties that had moved from rural into suburban, without really paying attention to that minor detail, when a (what else) Volvo pulled out from behind some bushes in front of us. A truck was coming the other way on this two lane road, there was a narrow bridge ahead, and all we could do was stop as hard as we could. I'm ashamed to say I was doing 100 on a suburban neighborhood street! That car grew really fast, and Mike's light grew to fill my mirrors, and I managed to match the car's speed about 2 feet off her bumper. It was a good 5 minutes before my heart rate dropped below 100. No other bike I've owned could have stopped that well - and it's a good thing Mike was well behind me when it happened. I breathe hard today just writing about it.
Had my first major wreck on it. Now it languishes in the garage, awaiting new mufflers, seat, fairing and some engine work (probably the cam chain tensioners).
My first non-Miles-powered bike. I was as green as this thing was. Which explains what happened next.
But, this car could bury many a GTO. It was Mike's project car (or as his wife Melinda said, "toy"). My wife used to get annoyed with me; as she said, "you drive like a redneck in it." But Mike always made me promise to drive it "...right, like it's meant to be driven, like I would drive it - don't baby it." I never had the chutzpah to take it around curves on two wheels at 70 or 80 like Mike did - it was his pride and joy, and I wouldn't chance it. Eventually, Sharon drove it, and the same "evil look" came over her, and she peeled out. After that, she drove it as much as I did, and never harassed me again. In fact, she loved trying to smoke me when I was on the Interceptor!
I was once driving a co-worker and our boss and his wife in the Goat, when I mentioned The Dukes of Hazzard. Michelle started choking, unable to decide whether to scream in horror or laugh out of control (yet she watched Dallas). We were approaching an intersection with a lovely, great bump in the middle of it, so I floored it and let out my best rebel yell. She managed to sit forward as the trannie shifted, and grabbed my throat just as we became airborn from the bump. I managed to croak out that I wasn't slowing until she let go, which she did. She screamed at me. Craig (her husband) sat bug-eyed. Tom just said, "Not bad. Can we try again?". Michelle wouldn't speak to either of us for several days, and Craig looked at me strangely for a while. Didn't seem to affect my review...
The holes in the floor were wonderful. El Paso had several flash floods a year. We lived near the mountain, and the way home for Dad from UTEP (then TWC) was along Railroad Drive - which became a canal to carry all the water from the mountain to the desert. Several times Dad came home grinning. Everyone else was flooded out, stuck in the road, and while his shoes and socks were wet, at least he was home! Without the holes, it would have, Bug-like, simply floated away. Instead, the water spouted up through the floor, sloshed around, and ran back out holes near the back.
We played sports car with this one. Slid it all over the place. After we first saw Star Wars, it became the Aluminum Falcon, constantly shifting into hyperdrive and zapping Tie Fighters with its headlights (garnering looks from the cops, but no tickets, fortunately).
The Taurus V6 in this beast is great. The van accelerates well, handles curves at least as well as the average car, and the OEM tires are decent, and slide progressively, giving a delightful squeal well before traction disappears. Or it did...
The transmission stinks. It's so bad now it stays in "limp mode", which mean sthe onboard computers won't let it past second gear, and you have to manually shift to L2 to even get out of 1st. Time for a new vehicle.
I used to call it the Big Red Thing or the InterChuys Ballistic Missle. Now it's more of "The Big Red Rock Beside the Driveway".
When the Tempo blew its cool again (radiator petcock let go; the previous radiator had simply split in two) we bought Sharon a green 2003 Protege. We didn't spring for the moon roof, but later wished we had. It's holding up great, too, other than when deer run into it.
These are nowhere near sports cars, but are reasonably peppy and responsive, and other than having no lumbar support and the headrests being too far back, are comfortable. For basic cars, they're pretty cool. And they hold up really well if you take care of them, rather like Honda Accords.
I remember riding this thing to school in all kinds of weather. In the 6th grade I even did this carrying a trombone by its case's handle looped over one handlebar. I once lost it on this bike and nearly lost my best friend (Don't do this!)
Left it unlocked in front of Techwood Dorm (named for Techwood Housing Project, in which it was located - the first federally funded slum) Dorm in college one night when I was drunk or stoned or something equally brain-dead, and ``Voila!'' (a French word meaning, "You have the brains of a turnip, so you deserve this") it had disappeared the next morning. Imagine that!
It's probably home to a particularly nasty breed of wasp somewhere (the bike, not my rear end).
I learned to drive in this car. I had an amazing talent for driving, and excellent depth perception, which nearly gave my Mom more than one heart attack when I happily and intentionally missed something by an inch or so.
I named this one ``Shirley'' as in ``Shirley the Lord has provided this van, and shirley the Lord is all that keeps it running!''
We called this one ``Josephine'', but I have no idea why.
All material is the sole responsibility of the author. The provider endorses nothing here. Miles O'Neal <roadkills.r.us@XYZZY.gmail.com> [remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!] c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514